Light on the Horizon
My days in Heidelberg are over.
I returned the keys to my room in my shared apartment yesterday. Today the new girl moved in. She's really nice and all, but even tough we had a prior agreement that I could leave some of my stuff here for the next month as she is away for an internship, she changed her mind and asked me to remove my stuff as soon as possible.
Which totally threw me into a panic.
I have no car. I don't even have a real, permanent living place yet. I am totally in panic and pissed off, that she - as soon as she had the keys to my (now ex-)room was throwing me out. This is so typical Germany! Don't ever believe what you get promised here. If you don't have it on paper and signed - it is not valid.
Another proof that I am way too nice to most people around me. Or too naive. Or both. Most likely both.
So I started to throw away things that are perfectly in working order.
I would rather give them away - but no one really wants "old stuff" around here either.
Take my printer - it has a scanner and copy function, too - but is way too bulky to carry around and take with me by train.
Lots of bags (I'm a girl.) - gone.
One floor lamp and a desk lamp - gone.
Some books and magazines I wanted to read (I swear!) - gone.
Several pairs of shoes (one of which I'd bought in Japan) - gone.
Two pillows - gone.
Several pieces of kitchen equipment - gone. (At least I left those in the apartment kitchen.)
Old clothes - gone.
Old cosmetic stuff - gone.
For someone who lost a parent very early in life, letting go of so much stuff at once is really a hard thing and I've been eating chocolate the whole day. Letting alone the feeling of leaving something as precious behind as something called "home".
Yes. I admit it. Even though I always compared Heidelberg to my beloved Marburg and it always lost, I feel really odd now. I really feel the loss. Again. The same feeling I had when leaving Marburg behind. (I didn't really mention it before: I studied in Marburg for six years. And it's a magical place. Will show you pictures later.)
I don't feel at home yet at my new place. I just feel ... lonely. And I really hate this feeling. Even though I have confidence in conquering this and make this place my home, too, it is not going to be an easy task.
If anyone reading this has some tips about dealing with new places and finding new people to have fun with - be my guest and comment on this post, please.