Nothing is forever. Surely, this is one of the hardest things a human being has to learn on this earth.
Even though I've lost some of the dearest people to me in early years, one never gets used to losing. It's as hard today as it was when I was a kid. Maybe even harder as the 4 year old me never really could anticipate the longing one develops over the years. Now I know that the longing for the hands, the voice, the love of the other person never stops. Sometimes it's a nice memory. Full of warmth and comfort. And then it hits you like a wave: You will never hear this voice again. You will never hold this hand again. You will never laugh together again.
Those are the feelings I get when thinking of my beloved grandfather Walter (died 14 years ago) and grandmother Ida (died 13 years ago).
My birth father died when I was not yet four. The aching I feel when thinking about him is yet a little different. I can't remember his voice or touch. I just cannot do it. I can look at all those pictures and see how happy he was looking at this little baby in his arms (me). I especially love one of the last pictures with us two: Him and me laughing really, really hard.
I'm still fighting like hell to get this laugh back. I may never succeed.
Don't get me wrong. I'm far from being a depressed kind of person. But yet...I seem to be deeper in thought sometimes than others around me. Compared to others in my age I've already known what loss can and must mean.
Yes, it hits you like a wave. A storm. A brick wall. Just keep breathing. You will live. You will live on for the others as well. You will still feel their love. You will know the love they've felt for your even after 25 years or more have gone past. It's nothing to despair about - it is pure and glowing hope.
For a blogger friend who lost her love.
Respect is not something that can be demanded. It is something that needs to be earned. During university we had professors that would demand respect just out of the fact that they were professors. But to slight others to feel better oneself doesn't ask for respect.
It calls for other measures.
I always respected those people who wouldn't ask for respect and treat others well. Who didn't need to slight others but would help them to develop their skills further.
And indeed this is my ideal. I wanna be like that. But I still need to learn a lot myself.
Once again I spent my Saturday strolling around in Munich. This time in Maxvorstadt and the English Garden.
When I laid eyes on the University I totally wished I had studied here. But only for a split second. After that I remembered my lovely Alma Mater - Marburg - with its old city right out of a Grimm's tale. (The Brothers Grimm studied in Marburg.)
Obviously. Munich isn't bad either and the Surfers at the Eisbach are just a fabulous "thing" to watch. And take pictures of.
My heart goes out to a fellow blogger, who is going through a very hard time. I wish you all the best and am thinking of you.